1. Fifty Shades Of Grey
I begin this entry with the infamous Fifty Shades of Grey which is the materialization into a book of the concept of utter embarrassment from right to left. I admit it, I've read this book and it was actually a fun read. It would've funnier (and less sad) if it was actually intentional. From the iconic tampon scene I'll not quote here (if you haven't read the books and are really curios: Google is your friend) from the actual total lack of a plot to begin with, I can't understand why anyone thought it was actually a good idea to adapt this... thing. No, I'm going to speak of this BDSM mom's porn as a book. Let's not even talk about the synopsis but just about where Fifty Shades was posted first: on fanfiction.com or whatever fanfic site it was. And guess what? It was actually a Twilight fanfiction. Yeap, the world is so damn small. Twilight wasn't some gem to begin with but FSOG is just blah, meh. I don't even need to write reasons, even you think it's a bad idea. Well, except if you're a diehard fan I guess.
Anyway, check its embarrassing trailer:
Fallen is the kind of the book you know it's idiotic just by reading the PR written synopsis. Why? Because it actually reveals some key points of the story (like the fact the ~dark and mysterious hero Daniel Grigori is a fallen angel -heck even the title of the book is a spoiler *facepalm*- and the heroine is actually his soulmate who happen to die every damn century). It was released in 2012 when fallen angels were the trend in YA paranormal romance (fuck yeah the originality!). I don't have much regrets in my life, especially when it comes to books. I believe even if I didn't like a book, at least it helped me to somehow mature and grow. Somehow. But I didn't learn anything from this book except that every heroine I thought was the dumbest heroine ever wasn't in fact the dumbest. It was such a bad and frustrating read. The heroine Luce gets bullied day in and day out and does fucking nothing. She's some special snowflake Mary-Sue who is waiting for Daniel to rescue her. Damn. And then the author pretends this story happen in the 21st century. It's such a predictable, bad written and dumb book with no likable character or climax or exciting moment I can't help but sob whenever I see the release date of this date: 2015. Just by looking at the first still, I can smell a flop already. It looks like a bland, low-budget Vampire Diaries picture which is, actually, an accurate description for this *book*.
3. House of Night
Sweet Jesus: WHYYY??? House of Night is like the book series I LOATHE the most in the World and trust me, there are a lot of books I hate with passion. The heroine Zooey is some insufferable self-absorbed teen who -when she doesn't slut-shame her rival or mock her "friend's" ethnicity- is obligated by the authors to make stupid decisions in order to actually have a plot and taint 300 pages. Just at the thought of this stupid book with stupid characters and stupid villains having an adaptation is making me weep. And they think of making 5 movies out of this mess. Kill me.
A fanmade of the heroine, just to show you how even visually this movie is a terrible idea (if the series weren't terrible enough).
4. Hush Hush
You thought the relation between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele was abusive? Then you need to read Hush Hush. Just like Fallen, it was released when fallen angels were the shit. I don't even need to resume this book since it's the same old special-snowflake-heroine-who-fall-in-lo
Matched isn't half as bad as the others (isn't bad at all tbh) but I didn't finish it which isn't a good sign. The idea was great, I was really speechless when I read the synopsis actually. It was brand new in the Young Adult dystopia corner but the execution was quite meh and very bland. It's about a society where the big bosses decide of your entire life: from your bae to your favorite colour. How can such a good concept turn into a snoozefest? I still don't understand. Maybe because the heroine was really annoying and thought she have everything hard when she doesn't even saw one bit of real life hardship? I remember stopping reading it half way because it was so boring. Disney fought to buy this book so I don't know if I should have hope or despair. I just hope they find some way to make it somehow interesting. Such a waste of a good concept. *le sigh*